Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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