did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
