Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
