Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
