talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
