I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
