I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
