What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
