That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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