He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
