I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
