I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
