She's JV to your varsity
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
