you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
