if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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