Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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