you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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