thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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