Cold hands, warm shart.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
