Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
