This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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