You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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