Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That accounts for only three of the penises
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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