bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I need a beard to bite.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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