You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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