I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
