it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
