plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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