theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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