You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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