You work out of a Hotel?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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