Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
