He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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