College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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