never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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