the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
