either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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