Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
