god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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