What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She told me I should be a condom model.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
