i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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