Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
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She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
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New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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