I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
