It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
