Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
