Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
