I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
