Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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