I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
