We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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