it wasn't lemon gatorade
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
