I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
