Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
