I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
