I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
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I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
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Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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