Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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