I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
