So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
