Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
