Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
