I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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